


When Stars Align

by anarchycox



Series: Missing: Four Demons (If Found Return to Hell) [22]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Conflicted Characters, Eggsy lecturing his demon, Fake Dating, Fangirls, Gen, Meeting Your Heroes, bargains with the devil, nerding out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:53:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22588969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anarchycox/pseuds/anarchycox
Summary: Tilde has been ordered by the Boss to keep an eye on Roxy, even though Roxy's contract is well signed. That means she tags along to Kingsman when Roxy goes to pick up a suit. Tilde loses all composure when she realizes who runs Kingsman Tailor. It would be bad to ask Hell's best sex demon for a selfie right?
Series: Missing: Four Demons (If Found Return to Hell) [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1335727
Comments: 33
Kudos: 180





	When Stars Align

“Tilde?”

Tilde was arranging flowers in Roxy’s flat. She was amused by flowers. So much on earth was unattractive, mostly people, mostly men, but flowers? Flowers were lovely. She wondered if they could grow some flowers back home, what those would look like. Not that she was home a lot, she was young which meant she spent a lot of time above. Happened when you were in the bargain division. And usually when a bargain was agreed to, she moved on.

But the Boss had said, she was to stick to Roxy, that there was something in this bargain that meant she needed to stay by Roxy. So she did. Roxy did not like it.

“Yes?”

“Remember we talked about you just manifesting with flowers in my flat? And how it isn’t good?”

“Did we?” It was adorable how Roxy held her police baton, like that could hurt Tilde. “Maybe we did, but that is irrelevant. I have been charged with keeping an eye on you. You are important to the Boss, and my shift at the coffee shop doesn’t start for a few more hours.”

“I don’t understand why you keep working there.”

“Well, I can hardly follow you around while you work, can I? Plus tipped a few souls down the darker path. Coffee shops people are so easy to suggest, aren’t they?” She winked at Roxy. “Your flat is so white, it needs more colour.” The red was wrong though, and a thought changed the flowers to purple. “Lovely.”

“I have an appointment at my godfather’s tailor shop. You aren’t staying in my flat alone.”

“Your godfather is a lawyer. His soul is -” Tilde found herself against the wall that baton at her throat. “Oooh, are we going to be having fun? Will you push the handle of that up my cunt? That could be interesting.” Roxy’s eyes flared for a moment before she collected herself. Tilde would remember that for later.

“You don’t so much as look at Percival,” Roxy warned her. “His soul is not yours.”

“His soul is nobody’s, he is Jewish,” Tilde shrug. “I can’t touch him.”

“I’m Jewish,” Roxy snapped, “You sure as fuck touched me.”

“No, you appreciate Judiasm, the connection to your godfather. You love going to temple, but there is just enough of your mother’s Anglicanism in you. Just enough wiggle room from that, from your hopes for those criminals that you catch, that you believe in hell.” Tilde’s eyes were swirling. “And all the Boss needs is a teeny tiny itty bit of wiggle room. Just a sliver, and you have a bit more than a sliver in you, Roxy. And thus we find ourselves together, until the Boss says different.”

“Just call him the devil.”

“He prefers the Boss.” Tilde shrugged. “I respect that. Now why are we going to a tailor’s?”

“We aren’t going. I am going because Eggsy has been making me a court suit, and today is the final fitting.”

“Tailor shops are pretty and if it serves posh sort, might be fun for me. I am coming along.”

“No, you aren’t,” Roxy snarled.

Tilde just smiled. The flowers changed to yellow. Yellow was the right colour for the space.

*

“Ohh,” Tilde said, and tilted her head. “Well, now.”

“Well, now what?” Roxy asked.

“This is a place that has known darkness and power. One who used to own this. Well, the great Kushiel, is probably working on him.” Tilde stared a bit more. “Used to be wards, stopping demons from going in. Now though they are just warnings. Interesting. This place is very interesting. Plus the suits in the window are attractive. This will be fun.”

“Wee, fun. Demons having fun is awesome,” Roxy snapped. “You are my girlfriend, okay? That is what I’ve told Percival. That I’ve been seeing someone.”

“Wonderful. Play acting!” Tilde actually clapped a little. “Can we hold hands, ooh, I call you…sweetums, yes?”

“No.” Roxy opened the door, and Tilde went into Kingsman. The wards fought her a little, and she promised she had no interest in any occupant of the building. Her charge was already in hand and they seemed to relax. It was a lovely and well cared for shop. The person who ran it now poured love into it. She shuddered a bit, it was so earnest, always an unpleasant feeling. “Eggsy,” Roxy said, and had an interesting tone to the word. Like she wanted to warm up to the person but was wary.

“Hey, Roxy, think you are going to love the suit I made you,” he said and Tilde blinked. Oh my, now that was a beautiful soul. So shiny and sweet. Bit of chaos, but the loyalty shone through. And so did the warnings almost branded onto that soul about what would happen if anyone touched him. They were very detailed and specific hung around Eggsy like a cloak. He must be one of the few mortals to have a guardian angel. That was an impressive thing. “Hi, I’m Eggsy.” He reached out his hand and she shook it. She wondered why he was looking at her like that.

“Hello,” Tilde smiled at him.

“Pretty eyes,” he said to her. “Love those swirling colours.” He winked.

They weren’t even standing that close and he could see that? No, surely not. “I’m sorry?” 

“Oh, playing at human, that’s cool, well just follow the house rules and we’re good.” 

Wait, what?

“Roxy, come to dressing room three, let’s get you decked out. Tilde, have a seat,” Eggsy gestured to the sofa. 

Roxy glared at her, and Tilde smiled and sat with perfect royal posture. She loved fussy manners, they were so fun to play with. Eggsy took Roxy to a room, and Tilde decided to examine the wards pressed into the walls, they were fascinated. Carved by a human but altered by another. She was trying to parse out the signature on it. It was similar but not to the cloak that covered Eggsy. 

“Hello, how did you even manage to get into my shop?” a voice asked and she didn’t even really look at him, busy studying the wards.

“Because I mean no harm to the one who runs it. I’m under orders that my only job currently is Roxy.”

“Unacceptable, she belongs to Percival.”

“He cannot be touched, but she believes enough to be taken. And has already signed a contract.”

“I will break it.”

“Oh because the Lord of Hell will listen to you?” she snorted at that thought. She then looked over, and her human form actually dropped its jaw. 

“Yes, my brother damn well will listen to me,” Harry said. “A baby over me, I hardly think so. Let me see the contract.”

Tilde made the contract manifest, and it fell into Harry’s hands. She stared at him in awe. She was in the room with Miniel. She was only a few hundred years old, and she was in a room with Miniel. She heard a squeak leave her mouth. “Sir, I just -”

He held up a hand and she quieted. Miniel, the Miniel was reading a bargain contract that she created. No one at home would believe this. Sarathiel sometimes bragged that he had once seen Miniel and Kushiel walk into the Boss’s office, and that they had almost seen him, but that was the closet anyone under 600 years had ever gotten. She pulled out her phone slowly.

“No,” he said. He flipped through the pages. “Bugger, some of these clauses.”

“I write a very good contract,” she said a bit regretfully. She was upsetting the Miniel and that felt awkward. “It is -”

“Nu-uh.” He pulled out his phone. “Get here now,” was all he said after he dialed and then hung up. He went to a work table, and started making notes. “How old?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You are a baby, but how much?”

She flushed a bit, embarrassed to say. “I was born when Marie Antoinette’s head hit the basket.” He looked up in surprise. “I know, but I am very good.”

“What is your name, sweet baby?”

“Tilde,” she replied automatically.

He chuckled a bit. “No, your name.”

“Naya’ll,” she answered.

Harry nodded. “The Boss mentioned you once, an up and comer with promise.”

She was going to faint. “He said that? He actually mentioned me to you.”

“Well, he mentioned you to Kushiel when Kushiel asked about a few particular souls brought in, wanted to give the bargain demon a commendation.”

“I got an office during World War One,” she said. “A private one.” It had been rare and many had been jealous. “It was because Kushiel liked my work?” She quickly wiped a tear away. “I -” Her lip quivered a bit. “He really likes my work?” Honestly praise from Kushiel meant even more than praise from the Boss himself.

“Harry, what the fuck?” Merlin ran into the shop.

“Need you to look at this contract, see if it can be broken. Baby demon there has annoyingly good skills.”

Merlin glanced at her and oh shit, she was not going to fangirl as humans said. She wasn’t. “I have a still shot of you working on Christopher Columbus in my office.” Well fuck it then, she was all in. “Can I have a selfie with you?”

“No,” Merlin replied. “You write the contract he wants me to look at?” He looked at her. “No, too much a baby to have written a contract. Just a minder. Well never know, couple hundred years, maybe you’ll work your way up.”

“Can I have your autograph?” She squealed, too excited at seeing him to manage to say that she had created the contract. 

Merlin rolled his eyes, “Fucking babies.” He held out his hand. “Where is Eggsy?”

“In the change room with Roxy. I slightly froze time in there so we’d have a chance to look this over. Break it, Merlin. You have to break it. That is the contract for Percival’s goddaughter. You have to.”

She watched the Kushiel kiss the Miniel’s forehead. Their bond was legendary and to see it in person, even in their human forms. Oh god, it was like a glimpse of what came before everything. It was almost painful to gaze on. She realized that it wasn’t that Miniel and Kushiel had always thought themselves better than those born in hell, from human misery, it was honestly that they hurt to look at.

“No, we also find the baby’s annoying,” Merlin said.

“You read minds?”

“Well I can, back home, but also, babies always respond the same to us.” Merlin flipped through the contract. “Sorry, Harry, if the baby showed you this contract. But Naya’ll contracts are perfect. I can’t break this. There is a small place where Roxy could, but she won’t. She’ll be in my workroom one day. Naya’ll is just too good at her job.”

Tilde couldn’t stop a few tears from falling. “I’m Naya’ll. That’s my contract.” She bit her lip. “You really think I’m that good?”

“Aye, for someone so young? The strength in your binding, in picking the right souls, just wonderful work, would think you were born during the raising of Stonehenge at the youngest.” He came over holding out his hand. “A pleasure to meet you. Always enjoy working on those you bring me. Quality fallen souls.”

She flushed bright red. “Thank you, so much sir.”

“Suppose we can do that selfie, if you want. Miniel, come here, indulge the baby.”

“Merlin, my boyfriend’s goddaughter is going to end up on your table. What am I supposed to do with that knowledge?”

Miniel looked so upset. “You are reacting in a rather human manner,” she said in surprise. 

“Of course I am,” Harry snapped. “The man I love would be heartbroken by this.”

“We are demons, we do not love,” she protested. She almost fainted when Kushiel came, and knelt in front of her.

“You were born out of anger and hatred, born in the pit. Born of man’s folly. We, all the originals, we born out of joy, love, an incomprehensible grace and beauty. So we can love. Love is why Miniel and I jumped.”

“It is called the fall.”

“No, little baby, we jumped. The reason you baby’s stare at us with awe, and fear, isn’t because we are in charge of divisions, it is that you see the love in us and you crave it. Hunger for it, like a vampire for blood.” He cupped her cheek, and Tilde saw the birth of the universe in his eyes. “It is why you are so much better than the others. Because you love something, you don’t even realize it. But you do. What is it, little baby?”

“Flowers,” she whispered.

“Good,” he said. “Hold onto that feeling that flowers give you. See what happens.” He stood up. “Harry, move time along. As much as it hurts, there is nothing you can do.”

“I’m filming an orgy to deal with this,” Harry muttered. Roxy came out with a suit bag in her hand. 

“Eggsy, I love it,” she gushed. “It is just perfect.”

“I’m glad,” he said. He looked at Tilde. “Oi, why did you guys make the baby demon cry?” He actually started glaring at the Miniel and Kushiel. A human was actually finger wagging the ones the baby’s revered even more than the Boss. “We agreed, be nice to the baby’s just doing their jobs.”

“I was,” Merlin said. “I praised her work! She writes contracts like she is at least 800!”

“Okay, you weren’t being mean? Because I will take away the new Alyssa Cole book.”

“We were very nice to the baby. Look we’ll even do her selfie she requested,” Harry and said, and oh god they were next to her. Tilde took the picture.

“Thank you,” she squeaked. She looked over and Roxy had a glazed look, clearly blocked from what was going on. “I actually have a lot of questions?”

“No,” they both said.

“Oh, be nice to the baby. You can come to dinner next week, Merlin will talk shop with you.”

“Why?”

“Because I say so. Everyone has heroes, and those heroes should be nice.”

“I’m a demon!”

“What, that mean you can’t be nice?” Eggsy snapped.

“Yes!”

“Want my macbook anytime soon? Or my dick?”

“I’ll make lasagna,” Merlin sighed.

Roxy’s eyes cleared. “Sorry, drifted off thinking about work. We should head out. Why are you crying?”

“Was poking about, stabbed my finger on a needle.”

“Whatever.” Roxy smiled at Eggsy. “Thanks again.”

“Anytime.”

Tilde left with Roxy and they were quiet. “So bet you wanted to make a bargain with Eggsy. Pretty easy too, what with him being a former thug? Nice and easy deal make for you?”

Tilde looked at her. “No, his soul is just about the purest I’ve seen, the work to corrupt it would be vast, and frankly above my pay grade.” And she knew what happened to the last who tried, everyone did. And now those wards were up.

“How fuck is a former thug pure, and I’m the one with the fucking contract?” Roxy snarled. 

Tilde plucked a flower from a barrel in front of a shop and in her hands, the one flower became a perfect bouquet. She put the flowers in Roxy’s free hand and leaned in, “Because, Roxy, you said yes. Because you chose. I’ll see you soon.” Tilde had to pop home to show all her friends the photo. When she appeared in her office, she smiled. She had one flower still in her hand, and it hadn’t withered or been destroyed when it transported.

Tilde really did love flowers. She ran down the hall to tell everyone about meeting their heroes.


End file.
